Motivation for Kids:
How Parents Can Help Kids Stay Motivated and Inspired

Motivation is the process of initiating, activating, and energizing behavior. It is what causes you to act and move toward something you want to achieve. Without motivation, there is practically no behavior.

Children are born eager to learn. Learning occurs naturally when conditions allow them to satisfy their curiosity through safe, self-initiated, and playful exploration. It is, therefore, important to look into motivation for kids and how they progress through the stages of life.

Children can become self-motivated when their natural curiosity is encouraged and supported and they are allowed to do things simply because they enjoy doing them. Self-motivated children have better mental health and wellbeing than those who rely on being rewarded by others to feel good about themselves.

Motivation builds determination. Building motivation in kids prepares them for the bigger challenges they will encounter in life. Capitalizing on children's curiosity as a motivation to learn doesn't have to be complicated. But of course, nothing about parenting is easy. It is quite a challenge to create an environment that intrigues but doesn't overwhelm or over-stimulate.

If their curiosity to learn is not supported by parents and other adults, self-motivation in children may diminish. Unfortunately, our busy society, structured school environments, and adult-led extracurricular activities leave little time for children to develop healthy self-motivation. Many children are not given opportunities to make choices in their lives.

As mentioned earlier, without motivation, there is no behavior - people behave because of an underlying goal or desire. Cognitive psychologists claim that there are two general types of motivation. When people engage in activities for fun, pleasure, or the sheer enjoyment of doing the activity, this is called intrinsic motivation.

This kind of motivation for kids may explain why they might be happy and excited to do their homework because they find it an exciting challenge. They could also learn to play a musical instrument just because they enjoy it.

On the other hand, performing activities in exchange for something tangible or because of external factors, like obtaining a reward or avoiding punishment, is called extrinsic motivation. This type of motivation may improve behavior, but only temporarily. Providing tangible rewards for desirable behavior may cause intrinsic motivation to decline and extrinsic motivation to increase.

Parents should understand that promises of money or other incentives in exchange for good grades, scoring goals, practicing piano, etc., may undermine a child's natural enjoyment of those activities.

The presence of extrinsic motivators may be risky when intrinsic motivation is already high and a new incentive re-frames the experience as something to get rewarded for rather than something to do for fun. Conversely, while intrinsic motivation can be long-lasting and self-sustaining, a lot of effort should be put into building this kind of motivation for kids to increase feelings of enjoyment and satisfaction.

Nonetheless, both motivators can support each other. It doesn't have to be a choice of one or the other. If a reward gets a student to learn, and learning becomes empowering, then the extrinsic motivator was used successfully to increase intrinsic motivation.

You might want to consult with your pediatrician and/or school personnel if you think your child is going through something more than just being unmotivated or demotivated. They would be able to assess ADHD/ADD, depression, addiction, and other conditions.

The greatest motivators for parents are their children. Their interests are of paramount importance. That is why it can be quite frustrating when their kids seem to be unmotivated.

The first thing to understand about children who seem to be unmotivated is this: it is quite impossible to have no motivation at all. When kids avoid involvement in any activity or refuse to accomplish anything, the motivation for kids is to resist doing anything. There can be a lot of reasons for this. The most common according to research is due to discouragement or an absence of control and self-determination.

It is great to motivate children, but it is even better if they learn how to motivate themselves. Take a look at these eight ways to effectively motivate your kids.

Help your child look at the bigger picture. Thinking of the bigger picture helps them stay motivated. Have them set goals by making a list of short-term goals and another for long-term goals. Make sure the goals are attainable but also require effort to obtain, and help them break down the goals into manageable steps to track their progress.

Setting small goals is how we build habits. Kids need to be taught the importance of achieving goals and learning how to be tenacious and courageous in order to overcome challenges and setbacks.

To reach goals, you need a plan. Help your children design a method for reaching their goals and make a step-by-step plan to achieve them. Teach your children how to organize. Once they're organized, they will feel in control and ready to begin working on the task. Even the most motivated child will not do well if there is no plan or structure in place.

Many parents are nervous about rewarding kids as tangible rewards can indeed become a slippery slope. But there are smart ways to use extrinsic motivation where it will eventually be internalized by your kid. Children respond rather well to social reinforcers like praises, hugs, high fives, and the like. They will begin to succeed more if they feel recognized for their achievements.

Every parent enjoys their children's successes and every child enjoys when their parents let them know how proud they are of them. When you celebrate their successes together, you magnify their sense of accomplishment. This builds intrinsic motivation.

Keep in mind, though, it is best to praise effort, not just results. Children need praise for their hard work. Celebrating efforts - big or small – is a huge motivator.

Let your children know you believe in them. It means a lot for them to know that you support and encourage them. They will be able to dismiss their fears and self-doubt if you believe in their capabilities. Help them discover their strengths and let them know how great they are doing.

It is also important to show interest in your child's interests even if they differ from yours. By doing so, you also build your relationship with your child which is very important in increasing motivation for kids.

Get involved. As a parent, your presence in your child's life is crucial to their commitment to getting things done. One-on-one talks with your kid are crucial for tapping into their intrinsic motivation. Engage them in a conversation by talking about their worries and stresses instead of nagging about why they haven't accomplished anything yet. It is crucial, however, to give them space to learn on their own and not to get overinvolved.

Motivating your child requires time and patience. It's easy to get frustrated when your child doesn't abide by what you say but remember that building resentment in your children won't bode well for your relationship with them. Forcing, scolding, or any form of punishment leads to resentment from your child and bigger frustrations which ultimately consumes a lot of energy. That energy could be spent on something more constructive. If your children are continually upset with you over things you say or do, they will find it hard to listen to you.

How else do you inspire a child but by being an inspiring person yourself? Don't focus as hard on finding ways to motivate your children but instead model behaviors that inspire them. Avoid trying to control their behavior by giving a long list of do's and don'ts. Your reaction to your children's lack of motivation is more crucial in encouraging them to start and accomplish a task.

Understand that your kid will want to run the other way if you are too controlling. Remember, the motivation for kids is to accomplish things in their own way, not yours. The motivation is to regain autonomy or control over their actions.

No one ever said motivating children was easy, especially if you are dealing with unmotivated ones. Do not forget that changing habits takes time. Celebrate their successes and don't despair when progress seems slow. Instead, you can simply be there for them. Valuing them, rather than controlling them, can go a long way toward improving mental health and motivation in kids.