Overcoming Fear of Failure: Don't Sabotage Your Chance for Success!

Being cautious and trying to avoid potential dangers is a natural instinct, and there's nothing inherently bad about it - after all, it keeps you safe. But it can get out of hand, turning into a paralyzing fear that prevents you from ever getting out of your comfort zone.

The fear of failure can have deep roots that come from early childhood, but this doesn't mean you're doomed for life. In this article, we'll explore some common causes of this fear and share useful tips on how to overcome it.

There are several reasons why you — or anyone else — can develop a fear of failing.

Let's face it: it's hard to succeed if there's only one person who believes in you, and that person is yourself. If a child shows off their drawings and hears nothing but criticism, they'll probably give up drawing. If you want to start a business but everyone tells you to stick to your boring but secure job, you may never have the courage to become an entrepreneur.

The lack of a supportive environment has the potential to kill your self-confidence and foster self-doubt instead.

Here's a very simple truth: everyone fails at something at some point. Great generals lose battles, talented writers publish unsuccessful books, and inventors often make countless faulty prototypes before they come up with something that works.

We know Thomas Edison as the inventor of the light bulb, not as that loser who built an ore milling facility and failed miserably.

However, you may believe that you, for whatever reason, are defined by your failures and not your successes. This can quickly lead to a mind-numbing fear of failing.

Both self-esteem and self-confidence are rooted in the belief that you're intrinsically valuable. You deserve unconditional love and respect.

This belief is one of the key sources of emotional energy that helps you stay resilient in the face of stress and failure. When this source runs dry, you simply don't have the energy to take risks, and then you develop a fear of failing.

If you have low self-esteem, you may also start to associate your self-worth with your achievements. You're a good daughter as long as you have excellent grades at school. You're a good husband as long as your wife is proud of your career. You're a good writer as long as each of your books is an instant bestseller.

This attitude leads to a crippling fear of failure because if you fail, you'd end up destroying your self-worth.

Have you noticed how talented children often end up as angsty adults, stuck in rigid routines, and unable to try new things? At school, they were often forced to achieve high standards and taught that anything other than perfection was unacceptable.

Yes, perfect work and good grades sound nice, but they come at a cost. For a perfectionist, any kind of failure can be intensely distressing, so they'll avoid it by all means.

This means avoiding potentially challenging tasks, trying to hide from honest feedback, and getting stuck in tried-and-tested routines. Learning new skills or doing something even remotely risky becomes nearly impossible.

If you can relate to any of these problems… continue reading! We've got some valuable tips for you!

These seven tips are interconnected, so it's best to implement all of them at the same time. Some of them are more difficult than they seem, so be kind and forgiving towards yourself if it takes time. Self-improvement is hard work!

So, here's how to embrace risk and the possibility of failure.

If you had hyper-critical and controlling parents, they may have implanted damaging thought patterns in your mind. When everything you do is scrutinized and you have to ask permission to do anything, you carry this need for validation and approval into your adulthood.

If exploring your fears makes you feel uncomfortable, talk to a mental health professional. They'll help you find the roots of your fears without judging you, and they'll also suggest strategies to overcome them.

Getting Things Done is a comprehensive methodology developed by David Allen. It's a complete productivity system that aims to optimize your entire workflow, from dealing with emails to planning life-changing projects.

According to Allen, the first step to maximizing your productivity is clearing your mind and writing down every thought that's occupying it. Then, you convert these random ideas into neat projects and lists of actionable to-do items. To make sure that nothing has slipped through the cracks, you perform a weekly review of your to-dos, appointments, and ideas.

GTD can bring tremendous focus into your life, but it requires some self-discipline and establishing new habits. This is why we recommend using a habit tracker in addition to your GTD tools.

What could your worst failure look like? Imagine the scenario in your head and take note of your feelings. What's more terrifying, the actual failure or your fear of rejection and embarrassment?

Exploring possible outcomes is a useful mental exercise. Once you've imagined a potential situation in detail, it often feels less overwhelming and scary because you start seeing possible solutions.

However, be careful. There's a psychological phenomenon known as rumination, the uncontrollable replaying of negative scenarios in your head. If you feel that you're stuck in a never-ending loop of negative thoughts, take a break and do a few mindfulness exercises instead.

There are simple, actionable steps you can take to reduce the probability of failure. One of these is setting the right kinds of goals.

One useful concept is SMART goals. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.

I want to get rich is not a SMART goal. It's not specific or measurable, not time-bound, and maybe not even achievable (depending on how you define rich).

In a year, I'll increase the profits of my business by 10% by introducing a premium product is a better goal. It won't make you rich overnight, but it's achievable and already contains an action plan.

What is the worst thing that could happen if you fail? Most likely, the worst-case scenario is far from being a nightmare. Okay, you won't get the job you're applying for, but you'll get a job elsewhere. Your crush may reject you, and this may be very painful, but it's not the end of your love life.

It's important to stay realistic, though. Otherwise, it's easy to slip into fantasies of self-destruction along the lines of, "If I don't get this job, I'll see my entire family die of hunger on the streets."

If the worst-case scenario is potentially devastating (like losing all of your money or your reputation), think of a backup plan before you act. If your business fails, do you have savings to support you through difficult times? If your book is rejected by every publisher, can you self-publish it on Amazon?

Having a plan B will help you feel more secure and less anxious about taking risks.

We've mentioned Thomas Edison, who would make thousands of faulty prototypes before coming up with a genius invention. When asked about his countless failures, he said, "I have not failed 10,000 times—I've successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work."

So… should we fear failure? Probably not. Failures are great opportunities to learn new things and refine your strategies.

The fear of failure can truly sabotage your creativity and your professional success.

But, remember that you are defined by your successes. Treat your failures as footnotes in the exciting book of your life. Yes, they're there, but they're definitely less important than your accomplishments.

If you feel that your fear of failing is getting out of control, talk to a psychologist or psychotherapist - they can show you exactly how to overcome your fear of failure given your unique personality and your specific circumstances.